Bruce Vs. Bruce - Springsteen versus Bruce, the shark from Jaws

We here at Legends of Springsteen hope you are all having a great summer so far.  Personally, I think summer is the best season for Springsteen music.  His songs are the perfect soundtrack for a backyard barbecue.

For this fourth of July weekend, we bring you another installment of "Bruce Versus Bruce"!  Did you know that the mechanical shark from Jaws was named "Bruce"?  Well, now you know!  And do you know what would happen in a fictitious match-up between Springsteen the shark-Bruce?  Well, let's find out!

Smile you son of a bitch!

Bruce the Shark	Bruce Springsteen
Hometown
Amity Island	Freehold, New Jersey
Advantage: Springsteen
Hang Out Spot
The Ocean	The Boardwalk
Advantage: Springsteen
Relationship With Fish
Eats Them	Duets With Them
Advantage: Shark
Director
Steven Spielberg	He's His Own Boss
Advantage: Springsteen
Soundtrack Created By
John Williams	Bruce Springsteen
Advantage: Springsteen
Sequels
Disappointing	Critically Acclaimed
Advantage: Springsteen
Acadmey Awards
3	1
Advantage: Shark
Main Goal
Eating Swimmers	Rocking For The Working Man
Advantage: Springsteen
Ability to Live On Land
Impossible	Unabated
Advantage: Springsteen

Well, in a 7-2 beat-down, Springsteen wins again!  Sorry, Shark-Bruce, perhaps you have to set your sights on a lower Bruce to devour.

Bruce Vs. Bruce - Springsteen versus the Bruce in "Don't Bring Me Down"!

Has it really been over a year since our last "Bruce Vs. Bruce" battle?  Well, let's start 2016 off right with perhaps Bruce's toughest opponent yet!  Yes, I speak of the Bruce referred to in the refrain for Electric Light Orchestra's 1979 hit "Don't Bring Me Down".  Let's see how our champion fare against this mysterious challenger.

The Bruce From "Don't Bring Me Down"	Bruce Springsteen
Are They Actually Called Bruce?
Sadly, No	Yes
Advantage: Springsteen
But What Is It Commonly Misheard As?
"Bruce"	Booing
Advantage: ELO
First Release
1979	1973
Advantage: Springsteen
Last Release
1979	TBD
Advantage: Springsteen
Musical Pitch
Very High	Very Low
Advantage: ELO
Hit Songs
Just one	Dozens
Advantage: Springsteen
Relationship to "Down"
Not Bringing You	Goin'
Advantage: ELO
E-Related Band
Electric Light Orchestra	E Street Band
Advantage: Springsteen

Ding ding ding! The winner, in a 5-3 match, is Bruce Springsteen.  It just goes to show: being a real person named Bruce is much better than being a song lyric that sounds like "Bruce" but actually is just some weirdo German word.

Bruce Vs. Bruce - Springsteen versus Batman

After dispatching the Hulk back in the summer, Springsteen moves on to his next opponent.  As we are in prime Halloween season, what better opponent to take on than Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Batman, the fearsome protector of Gotham City.  While everyone awaits to see how Batman versus Superman will play out, let's see how he does against Jersey's native son.

Bruce Wayne	Bruce Springsteen
Nickname
The Caped Crusader	The Boss
Advantage: Springsteen
Hometown
Gotham City, Fictional	Freehold, NJ, Reality
Advantage: Springsteen
Kicking Ass Since
1939	1949
Advantage: Batman
Upbringing
Rich Kid With Dead Parents	Poor Kid With Alive Parents
Advantage: Springsteen
Strikes…
Fear into the Hearts of Criminals	A Chord with the Working Class
Advantage: Springsteen
Youthful Ward
Robin	Tom Morello
Advantage: Batman
Criminals are…
A Cowardly, Supersticious Lot	Inspirations for songs on Nebraska
Advantage: Springsteen
Enemies
The Joker, Two-Face, The Penguin, Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, etc.	Republican Presidents
Advantage: Batman

Boy, it was a close one, but in a 5-3 decision, Springsteen showed Batman who truly ruled the darkness on the edge of town.  Stay tuned for yet another scientific breakdown of how Springsteen would fair against the other famous Bruces throughout time and space.

Bruce Vs. Bruce - Springsteen versus the Hulk!

In an effort to give you the most comprehensive Springsteen coverage, I've started a new series I call Bruce Versus Bruce.  In BvB, we will go over how our favorite Bruce matches up against histories greatest Bruces.  In our first (and hopefully not last) match-up, I've set the Boss up against Bruce Banner, also known as the Incredible Hulk!  It will be a tall order for the Boss, but let's see how he handles it:

The Hulk		The Boss
Real First Name
Robert		Bruce
Advantage: Springsteen
Occupation
Scientist		Rocker
Advantage: Springsteen
Identifiable Colors
Green		Red, White, and Blue
Advantage: Springsteen
Costume
Purple Pants		Blue Jeans & White T-Shirt
Advantage: Hulk
Known Associates
The Avengers, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes		The heart-stopping, pants dropping, house-rocking, earth-quaking, booty-shaking, Viagra-taking, love-making, Legenday E Street Band
Advantage: Springsteen
Gained Powers Via:
Gamma Bomb		Born In New Jersey
Advantage: Springsteen
Has Been Portrayed in Movies By:
Eric Bana, Ed Norton, Mark Ruffalo	Bruce Springsteen
Advantage: Springsteen
You Won’t Like Him When:
He’s Angry	It’s the 1990s
Advantage: Hulk

And there you have it!  In a 6-2 rout, Bruce Springsteen trounces Bruce Banner, and continues his reign as the strongest one there is.  Stay tuned for the next opponent to step into the ring with the Boss.